Couples Therapy

Why Doesn’t He Listen?

How heard do you feel in your relationship? It's essential to know that the special person in your life is truly hearing you. That way you feel understood and appreciated..

Why he Doesn't Listen

However, when we don't feel appreciated, it's natural to focus on what we don't want. As humans, we have a basic survival instinct to avoid danger and threats, so it's normal to have a "don't want" attitude. But when it comes to relationships, this approach can push people away and make us appear like a nag.

So, what's the solution?

How To Say What You Want and Be Heard

The answer is straightforward: focus on what we do want, rather than what we don't. Deep down, we all want to connect and feel happy. By focusing on positive outcomes, we enter into a state of attraction and connection, which naturally draws people towards us. Relationships automatically improve.

Here are some examples:

DON'T WANT: I wish you wouldn't ignore me when I'm speaking to you!

DO WANT: I really appreciate it when you take the time to listen to me.

DON'T WANT: Why is it always me that has to clear up the mess?

DO WANT: When you help with that, it gives us more time together.

DON'T WANT: You never call.

DO WANT: It's great to hear from you. I love hearing your voice.

DON'T WANT: You always start talking about this when I'm half asleep!

DO WANT: I can see it's important. When's a good time tomorrow to discuss it?

DON'T WANT: Why am I always last on your list?!

DO WANT: When you make me a priority, it feels great.

Remember to always focus on what you do want, rather than what you don''t. You'll feel much stronger within yourself and your relationships will become much calmer and happier.

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