
How To Find A Good Couples Therapist
Making the decision to have some couples therapy sessions is a wonderful step forward. It means you've reached a point where you want more out of life and your relationship. You may be fed up having the same challenging experiences in your relationship, going round in circles, stress and arguments, feeling lack of intimacy - and you know you deserve better.
So first of all - well done!
Things You Need To Know When Choosing a Couples Therapist
But before you leap in, it’s a good idea to consider the following points to help you make a wise decision about choosing your couples therapist. When you’ve read through, if you’d like to get in contact for a free consultation with me, just click on the button below this post.
Have You Checked Their Couples Therapy Qualifications?
Couples therapy is a specific method of practising. No matter how well qualified, or years of experience the therapist has, your couples therapist should have specific training and a qualification in working with couples.
This will be clearly visible on their website. Look out for an ‘about me’ page, or something similar, where you can find out a little about their professional background and what led to them doing the work they do.
Are They Having Supervision?
They should also be having regular clinical supervision. This is a very important ethical guideline.
A supervisor is someone who is trained to oversee the work of other practitioners, make sure they are staying within ethical guidelines, help them avoid pitfalls and keep their clients emotionally safe.
Some countries see supervision as a voluntary requirement. In other countries it is mandatory. For example, in the UK your counsellor or therapist must be receiving monthly supervision if they wish to practise professionally. It's always a good idea to ask if your couples therapist is undertaking regular supervision.
Do They Have Reviews and Recommendations?
Look for their reviews online or on their website. Sometimes these aren’t obvious - but don't be shy about asking the couples therapist to point you in the direction of where reviews can be found. Plus, many people have couples therapy these days, so ask your friends and family if they can recommend someone to you.
How Does The Therapist Respond To Your Enquiry?
A good couples therapist wants to make sure that they’re the right therapist for you. When you first contact them, how do they respond? Do they accept you immediately as clients without question, or do they ask you to provide some details first?
Do They Offer A Free Consultation?
Many couples therapists offer a free initial consultation. It's an opportunity for you to get to know them, and feel more at ease.
It's also an opportunity for the therapist to make sure that they’re the right person to help you or to refer you to a colleague who is a better match.
In What other ways are they helping people?
Highly experienced couples therapists may well have extended their practice into other ways of helping people.This is not a given for all therapists, and certainly doesn't reflect on their skills or competence!
However, many these days have a blog with helpful relationship advice, have written self-help books, been a regular guest on podcasts, run courses and workshops etc. Exploring these can give you a better idea of who they are as a couples therapist and how they'll be able to help you.
This doesn't necessarily mean that they're automatically the right fit for you. It's important that you meet for a consultation first to make sure you feel comfortable with them.
What Practical Tools And Resources Can They Offer You?
A good couples therapist will offer you tools and techniques, as well as resources, to help you put what you learn in your couples sessions into practice in your own time. These could be a range of things, such as strategies for improved communication, resolving conflict, managing overwhelming emotions and regaining intimacy.
You’ll then have these tools for life.
Have You Weighed Up The Costs?
It's often the case that the higher the couples therapist’s fee, the more experienced and specialist they are - though do check this.
Bear in mind that their advanced level of expertise will often mean they can help you in a much shorter period of time. This means that you will save substantially in the long run.
Don’t be shy to ask them how long they think it will take to overcome your relationship issues. Every couple is different and sometimes new issues become more apparent in the course of therapy, but your couples therapist should be able to give you a rough guide before therapy starts so that you have a clearer understanding of what to expect.

Let's Have a Chat
I've helped hundreds of couples overcome challenges, improve communication, and come back to a happy and thriving relationship.
If you're interested in learning more about how I can help you with your relationship, please click the button below to find out more and schedule your free 30-minute call with me.
Counselling and Therapy Costa Del Sol, Spain
Fuengirola, La Cala, Marbella and online

